I am disappointed, really disappointed, and I feel like I want to shout right at this very minute. I don’t feel like crying though. Just want to shout to the top of my lungs until I will lost my voice. I have this feeling that it will help ease my disappointment away. I so wanted to talk to someone, but there’s no one to talk to. It’s like the same as being alone and lost when in fact there are people around you, but the problem is, they’d rather read than talk to you. Well, sorry you! You’re probably not interesting to talk to at all so they’d rather read. Yeah, maybe that’s the reason behind. Sorry me then!

But there’s no use crying over spilled milk, right? Even if I will yak and yak about it, nothing can be done now. I would only be wasting my time and effort in yakking. I’d rather keep my mouth shut instead and have peace.

Yeah, right!

But there’s nothing I can do about it now and the more I rant about it, the more it will just ruin my day and I will not gain anything from it at all anyway. So, I think the best way for me to do is move on and just forget about the whole thing. It’s not the end of everything yet anyway so what the heck!!!

The reason? No one’s going to be left here at home. My cousin only worked half of the day and mom left mid-morning and didn’t go home during lunch time like what she told me. I couldn’t leave the house because the workers are here and they would be needing materials from the storeroom.

I can’t go today too because I will be doing some online and offline work here at home. I have no choice but to do it Monday. Hope it won’t still be late.

And those are not the only things that I’ve discovered actually. There were still things that she has done that I never thought she is capable of doing and I just pity the other half. I’m referring to her boyfriend that she’s been using to get to her ambition. All the while I thought that she’s afraid of karma since I’ve known her to be religious but I was wrong. Oh well, I believe in karma and I just hope it won’t hit her real hard. Pitiful!

I haven’t talked to her about this yet because I was always caught off-guard whenever she says harsh words. I can be harsh too but she’s fortunate because I wasn’t in my bad mood during those times. But the next time she’ll do it, she’ll have a dose of her own medicine.

Yesterday, Saturday was payroll day for our family’s business and today, Sunday is Yogi’s birthday. I’ve been busy since this morning preparing the house for tonight’s li’l party but being the multi-tasker that I always am, I still managed to squeeze in a little time for my online journal, thus, I’m here blabbing. Hehe.

There are still more things to be done here in prep for tonight so I think I need to go and start rumbling. (“,)

We could still use the PCs though because we have a generator. We can use the electric fans too but nothing can be comfier than the A/C with the weather that we have now. Oh well, we can’t do anything about it so I just have to satisfy myself with an electric fan and be thankful too that at least I have one. (“,)

It’s more annoying when it happens in the evening because it interrupts the cooking of dinner. And who can sleep in this blazing heat (other than Lucifer himself) without a fan or air conditioning? I’m actually starting to have dark circles around my eyes, though it’s not that visible yet. But soon, if this continues, I know I’ll eventually need some eye cream for dark circles because the brownouts will be an ongoing scenario until June. And again, I know I will not be the only one who’s complaining about this, or who will be needing an eye fixer upper.

I got up immediately feeling a little dizzy and went straight to the living room. I was a little surprised to see the house so quiet only to remember that my aunt did tell me that they were leaving. I thought I was all alone but when I checked my parent’s room, dad was there sleeping.

Still feeling dizzy, I went straight to the PC and wrote an email for BA with fingers still shaking and all. I was all tensed up but still managed to create an email. I do wonder though if it made sense. After doing so, that’s the only time that I remember to get myself a glass of water to at least calm my nerves. It did help a little but I wasn’t A-ok until I stuffed my tummy.

I went to take my nap right after lunch with my tummy full and that’s probably why I had a nightmare. I won’t do that again next time.

Oh well… what can I say? I should have gotten used to it since it’s been happening for years. Well, I don’t really mumble like this in times when I’m in a good mood. But today was different. Everything is just way too different.

I started my day right…full of smiles and love because today is a special day for my BA and I. But everything changed when she started yakking at me for one thing I believe is not my responsibility anymore. Oh well… Such is life!