My Comfort Zone

I was awake but I couldn’t move my body nor my fingers.  I was struggling to move any of them but to no avail and I was even calling names but no one seemed to hear me, and that’s it. I knew it then that I was having a bad dream. After several attempts, I was finally able to move my right leg. I was breathing so hard and deep and I feel my nerves shaking. That was such a bad dream.

I got up immediately feeling a little dizzy and went straight to the living room. I was a little surprised to see the house so quiet only to remember that my aunt did tell me that they were leaving. I thought I was all alone but when I checked my parent’s room, dad was there sleeping.

Still feeling dizzy, I went straight to the PC and wrote an email for BA with fingers still shaking and all. I was all tensed up but still managed to create an email. I do wonder though if it made sense. After doing so, that’s the only time that I remember to get myself a glass of water to at least calm my nerves. It did help a little but I wasn’t A-ok until I stuffed my tummy.

I went to take my nap right after lunch with my tummy full and that’s probably why I had a nightmare. I won’t do that again next time.

Sometimes I wonder why can’t people seem to realize things. Don’t they really care or just plainly being insensitive? I don’t know what else to think. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself for being treated such. Such in which it seems like I hold responsible for every individual in this household. Like I’m their nanny? Excuse me!? Have you forgotten that I’m a member of this family too.

Oh well… what can I say? I should have gotten used to it since it’s been happening for years. Well, I don’t really mumble like this in times when I’m in a good mood. But today was different. Everything is just way too different.

I started my day right…full of smiles and love because today is a special day for my BA and I. But everything changed when she started yakking at me for one thing I believe is not my responsibility anymore. Oh well… Such is life!